When you’re travelling, where you consummate your holiday romance can be more important than who you do it with. Here are some suggestions for places that could make the whole experience unforgettable or end up landing you in jail.
- Anywhere in Budapest: On the subway, in the parks, at the Fisherman’s Bastion, even in the grounds of the Albanian Embassy one can’t turn around on the streets of Budapest without coming across a couple in an amorous clinch. Freed from the stifling constraints of communism, everyone is at it hammer and tongs in ‘Bonking Budapest’. Why shouldn’t you be?
- The 337 to Richmond via Putney, London: The 337 is one of those quaint, red double-decker buses. Late at night, chances are you’ll have the whole top floor to yourself. The trouble is that these buses now have hidden surveillance camera so your antics are likely to be taped and swapped around other bus drivers. Moreover, they could also end up on a black market soft porn video called ‘On the Buses’.
- Mount Sinai, Egypt: High amongst the jagged mountains of the Sinai desert, this is the spot where Moses got the Ten Commandments. Bloody cold, and bordering on the sacrilegious, it’s the amazing amount of shooting stars at night that make it an unforgettable venue.
- A pensione in Florence, overlooking Piazza Signoria: A Florentine pensionne is the perfect place to live out your Room with a View fantasies. Guys get to think they’re Julian Sands. Girls can pretend they’re Helena Bonham Carter. And owners of cramped, decrepit garrett’s get to make lots of money.
- The Tor, Glastonbury: Set on a hill amongst the lush green patchwork of fields in southern England, the Tor could be the last resting place of King Arthur. It’s also a magnet for every crusty, spiritualist and new age traveller this side of India. Your attempts to recreate the grand passion of Lancelot and Guinevere are likely to be interrupted by a New Zealand healer trying to recharge her crystals.
- Cheops Pyramid, Egypt: An amazing spot where you’ll have 4000 years of history beneath you. Trouble is, it will take you all night to scramble up the huge sandstone blocks to the top. Chances are that you’ll be too tired to do anything when you get there
- Stone Forest, Kunming, China: A massive collection of grey limestone pillars with very phallic overtones. I’m not sure that anyone has actually done it here, as the guy who told me about it thought I had asked him about the most amazing place he has ever ‘slept’. Still, by the way he described the moon shining on the phallic formations at night, it sounds as though it could be interesting.
- A felucca on the Nile: Could anything be more romantic than floating down one of the world’s great rivers in a saibo.at that has changed little in design since the days of the Pharaohs? I should point out that there are problems to overcome first. You could be too stoned to do anything or you may be put off by the felucca captain drooling and leering and trying get in on the actions himself.
- A tropical island in the Maldives: Sugar-white beaches Aqua blue water. Quaint reed huts set amongst palm trees that whisper as the wind rustles through them at night. No wonder the Maldives is one of the most popular honeymoon destinations in the world. A little know fact, however, is that many marriages go unconsummated because of third-degree sunburn.
- A ‘free love’ ashram in india: Anyone who spends any time in India will hear of an ashram where, after an AIDS test, you are allowed to sleep with everyone and anyone you choose. It sound great, but if you press the person telling you about it for more details, all you’ll get is that it’s somewhere in southern India and that it was a friend of theirs who went there, not them.
